Looking over the past year and how much my life has changed, I am thankful for so many things!!
I remember this day last year, I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by one of my close friends in Texas. It was so wonderful to be able to spend the day with great friends and family. Thinking about last year has made me really miss my Texas friends, but has reminded how lucky I am that I found them....or they found me!
I'm so incredibly thankful for Casey and the family he has given me. It is such a blessing to have a "step" son that I get to spoil rotten and help raise. I have the best "in-laws" a girl could ask for, they have been there for me for many years, and I'm so thankful to belong to their family.
I am a very lucky girl with wonderful friends, of which I am always thankful for! I know that I have the greatest support group! No matter where I've been, I've always had the love and prayers of my friends to get me through.
And last, but certainly not least...I'm thankful for my awesome family! They have always stood beside me and allowed me to grow and find myself. I'm INCREDIBLY thankful that God has answered our prayers and taken the cancer from Helen, and now she can recover and get back to her feisty self!!
I guess you could say I'm just one thankful gal, for everyone and everything God has blessed me with this past year! Here's looking to many more thankful years!!
And always remember to keep your fork.....
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Feels Like Home
22 days until my return home.
This return is incredibly bittersweet for me. I have come to love Texas...the warm weather...the Texas sky...but most of all the wonderful people. I have met some very dear friends that will forever hold a spot in my heart.
I have loved this adventure of moving into the unknown. I moved down not knowing a single soul. I have learned how to build a life on my own, entertain myself, and find new friends. I have proved to myself that I will always be ok. No matter what life has in store for me, I will be ok.
I move home in 3 weeks, a deadline that seems all too far away, yet doesn't give me enough time with the ones I love here. I move back with optimism, with hope...even though the realistic side of me is scared to death. I do not know what home will bring me. I am hoping it's a smooth transition back to the life that I had before...with the same amazing friends and family. But I move back with the challenge of something new.
I have successfully been single for the past three years, a few relationships here and there (of which I don't take lightly, but are not the magnitude of the one I return to). I have loved my single life, always being able to do the things I want to do, never really having to think of my consequences. I have been able to come and go as I please, and enjoy every bit of meeting new people and taking on new adventures.
I wanted to travel the country, learn about other people, see how the rest of the world lived. I thought that I would be able to blend in with those around me. I thought that I would have a million friends, a million opportunities wherever I went. However, I have learned that fitting in is hard, and finding true friends is difficult. I have been fortunate to find them here, but wonder if I could do it all again in a new location.
But I'm going home. I'm going to where all feels normal and safe. But I don't feel safe at all. I'm heading into a new adventure that has no security at all. I'm basing my decisions on what someone else is telling me...the things I've wanted to hear. But I'm heading to where it feels like home. I'm home with him. I'm home in his arms. I'm home in his words. Everything about him screams home to me. We all want to be home, we all long for that one sense of belonging. I want to belong to someone, not everyone. I want to belong to him.
Love you all, keep your forks
This return is incredibly bittersweet for me. I have come to love Texas...the warm weather...the Texas sky...but most of all the wonderful people. I have met some very dear friends that will forever hold a spot in my heart.
I have loved this adventure of moving into the unknown. I moved down not knowing a single soul. I have learned how to build a life on my own, entertain myself, and find new friends. I have proved to myself that I will always be ok. No matter what life has in store for me, I will be ok.
I move home in 3 weeks, a deadline that seems all too far away, yet doesn't give me enough time with the ones I love here. I move back with optimism, with hope...even though the realistic side of me is scared to death. I do not know what home will bring me. I am hoping it's a smooth transition back to the life that I had before...with the same amazing friends and family. But I move back with the challenge of something new.
I have successfully been single for the past three years, a few relationships here and there (of which I don't take lightly, but are not the magnitude of the one I return to). I have loved my single life, always being able to do the things I want to do, never really having to think of my consequences. I have been able to come and go as I please, and enjoy every bit of meeting new people and taking on new adventures.
I wanted to travel the country, learn about other people, see how the rest of the world lived. I thought that I would be able to blend in with those around me. I thought that I would have a million friends, a million opportunities wherever I went. However, I have learned that fitting in is hard, and finding true friends is difficult. I have been fortunate to find them here, but wonder if I could do it all again in a new location.
But I'm going home. I'm going to where all feels normal and safe. But I don't feel safe at all. I'm heading into a new adventure that has no security at all. I'm basing my decisions on what someone else is telling me...the things I've wanted to hear. But I'm heading to where it feels like home. I'm home with him. I'm home in his arms. I'm home in his words. Everything about him screams home to me. We all want to be home, we all long for that one sense of belonging. I want to belong to someone, not everyone. I want to belong to him.
Love you all, keep your forks
Monday, November 9, 2009
There are many things....
This is a quote I've always used. I found this quote while sitting on a plane waiting to depart from San Jose, Costa Rica. It goes as follows:
"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, only a few will capture your heart: Pursue those."
I have always treasured this quote, and have perhaps lived my life by it. Now, many things have caught my eye, and I have strayed. But I have always remembered the things that have meant the most to me, and I treasure those.
My adventures have brought me to a turning point. I have been constantly running after things that have caught my eye, now it has brought me to something that has caught my heart.
I met someone years ago, have known him the better part of my life. A few years ago, our paths crossed, and my life has never been the same since. I haven't talked a lot about him with many people, my closest friends are the ones that know the most. So, here's the story:
I met him again, through a strange turn of events. And for those of you that know me, boys come and go. But he stayed in my heart. He has stayed there for years. He became my friend, my confident, my Mr. Big. I have loved him for many years, but have never had the opportunity to act on anything I've felt. He has been through the ups and downs, and has always given me that little crooked smile that has made the world around me dissolve. I've always held him as the standard for what I am looking, as we have so much in common. He has understood me when others cannot, and vice versa. I have secretly loved him through these years. I have dropped everything when he calls, I have always run to his side when he has let me be there.
He was a big part of me leaving Indiana, a story of which I'd rather not share here. I will tell you now, the thought of never seeing him again broke my heart in a way it's never quite broken. But like I have been, I decided to move on. Before I left for my Texas adventure, we came back together, and leaving his side was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I came to Texas looking for a place to fit in, a place to belong. I have met some of the most amazing people, those that have touched my life in the most amazing ways. I love the opportunity I've had to experience a different life, with different people. Texas is an amazingly beautiful state, with even more amazingly beautiful people.
A few nights ago, the man of my dreams told me he loved me, something that has taken over 3 years for me to hear. Something I have waited for, something I have never forced or ever asked for. I honestly never thought this day would happen. I have tried time and time again to move on, I even moved far away to move past this.
So here I am, with so many people not understanding, with good reason. And though people may not understand the reasons for my decisions to move home and try, I have to. I have to try for the one of the few things that has captured my heart. I will always put my heart on my sleeve, and I will always go after what I want. I understand that I am putting myself out there for heart break, for disappointment, but I have to try. I have to try for the one thing that I have wanted for so many years.
The night I heard those three little words from him, "I love you," I have never cried and felt more complete at the same time. I wish I could express to you all the feelings I have inside for him. I know those that are nearest and dearest to me understand what I am going through.
I'm scared, and I'm confused, but I'm so unbelievably happy and peaceful at the same time.
On my way home from work, I saw something that made it all ok. The skies were beautiful here, sunny and gorgeous. In one fleeting moment, the skies opened up and rained, and I saw a complete rainbow. Now, to some, that's just a beautiful sight, but to me it meant so much more. God sent the rainbow after 40 days of rain. He sent that rainbow to tell us we'll be ok, and that He's always there. That rainbow lasted for a few moments, the rain clouds dispersed, and again there was sun. I believe in God's signs, He sends them to us, in very small moments. If we don't stop and think about Him, we pass on by them with no more thoughts. This was His sign to me. I have been through "40 days" of hardship, but He was telling me that that everything is ok. No matter what, I'm ok.
So my "travels" will bring me home. They bring me home to something I have always wanted. I do not know what the future holds, and I'm excited to see what God has in store for me.
I am going home, I am going home to see if what I have always wanted will last me a lifetime. I don't know the outcome, and quite frankly, I don't care. I have to know. I have to know if Casey is where I belong.....after all......he's captured my heart.....
Love you all...keep your forks, as I know I have!!! I will see you all soon!
"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, only a few will capture your heart: Pursue those."
I have always treasured this quote, and have perhaps lived my life by it. Now, many things have caught my eye, and I have strayed. But I have always remembered the things that have meant the most to me, and I treasure those.
My adventures have brought me to a turning point. I have been constantly running after things that have caught my eye, now it has brought me to something that has caught my heart.
I met someone years ago, have known him the better part of my life. A few years ago, our paths crossed, and my life has never been the same since. I haven't talked a lot about him with many people, my closest friends are the ones that know the most. So, here's the story:
I met him again, through a strange turn of events. And for those of you that know me, boys come and go. But he stayed in my heart. He has stayed there for years. He became my friend, my confident, my Mr. Big. I have loved him for many years, but have never had the opportunity to act on anything I've felt. He has been through the ups and downs, and has always given me that little crooked smile that has made the world around me dissolve. I've always held him as the standard for what I am looking, as we have so much in common. He has understood me when others cannot, and vice versa. I have secretly loved him through these years. I have dropped everything when he calls, I have always run to his side when he has let me be there.
He was a big part of me leaving Indiana, a story of which I'd rather not share here. I will tell you now, the thought of never seeing him again broke my heart in a way it's never quite broken. But like I have been, I decided to move on. Before I left for my Texas adventure, we came back together, and leaving his side was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I came to Texas looking for a place to fit in, a place to belong. I have met some of the most amazing people, those that have touched my life in the most amazing ways. I love the opportunity I've had to experience a different life, with different people. Texas is an amazingly beautiful state, with even more amazingly beautiful people.
A few nights ago, the man of my dreams told me he loved me, something that has taken over 3 years for me to hear. Something I have waited for, something I have never forced or ever asked for. I honestly never thought this day would happen. I have tried time and time again to move on, I even moved far away to move past this.
So here I am, with so many people not understanding, with good reason. And though people may not understand the reasons for my decisions to move home and try, I have to. I have to try for the one of the few things that has captured my heart. I will always put my heart on my sleeve, and I will always go after what I want. I understand that I am putting myself out there for heart break, for disappointment, but I have to try. I have to try for the one thing that I have wanted for so many years.
The night I heard those three little words from him, "I love you," I have never cried and felt more complete at the same time. I wish I could express to you all the feelings I have inside for him. I know those that are nearest and dearest to me understand what I am going through.
I'm scared, and I'm confused, but I'm so unbelievably happy and peaceful at the same time.
On my way home from work, I saw something that made it all ok. The skies were beautiful here, sunny and gorgeous. In one fleeting moment, the skies opened up and rained, and I saw a complete rainbow. Now, to some, that's just a beautiful sight, but to me it meant so much more. God sent the rainbow after 40 days of rain. He sent that rainbow to tell us we'll be ok, and that He's always there. That rainbow lasted for a few moments, the rain clouds dispersed, and again there was sun. I believe in God's signs, He sends them to us, in very small moments. If we don't stop and think about Him, we pass on by them with no more thoughts. This was His sign to me. I have been through "40 days" of hardship, but He was telling me that that everything is ok. No matter what, I'm ok.
So my "travels" will bring me home. They bring me home to something I have always wanted. I do not know what the future holds, and I'm excited to see what God has in store for me.
I am going home, I am going home to see if what I have always wanted will last me a lifetime. I don't know the outcome, and quite frankly, I don't care. I have to know. I have to know if Casey is where I belong.....after all......he's captured my heart.....
Love you all...keep your forks, as I know I have!!! I will see you all soon!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
God Bless Texas
So I've been in Texas almost a month now, amazing how time flies! I'm learning a lot about how to be a Texan and all it's fabulousness.
I was driving through the country this evening and was able to gaze up at the beautiful Texas sky. Now, normally, I've seen this sky during the day (and most of it has been rainy). But this drive was different, I could see all the stars in the sky. It's hard to explain, but the Texas sky is different...t's bigger....it's beautiful.
As I drove into town, I saw my favorite landmark that lets me know I'm close to home, the Texas flag. Now, the Texas flag is flown high, big, and proud. Everytime I come over the hill and see this flag, it makes me smile. It reminds me how surreal these last few weeks have been. I sometimes can't grasp that I am living in Texas. Being born and raised, and basically living ,in the same place my whole life, I can't believe that I am so far away from comfort. The comfort that I long for every day. I miss my friends, my surroundings, my home. But I'm starting to feel ok here.
I have been very fortunate to meet some fabulous people (and fabulous is not a term I use lightly). I am slowly learning the ways of Texas, how people think, how life is done. I never realized that people can be so different in this country, but I was wrong.
I have been told by numerous people that once I get to Texas, I will never want to leave. I shrugged them off, thinking to myself, "I'm ready to see the world." But now I understand why they said that. I'm in love with Texas. I have never met more friendly people, who open their lives to you with no reserve. They go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I am so thankful I've met some friends that have taken me under their wing and made me feel at home.
I'm excited for every new adventure that has come my way. I don't want to miss out on a thing, and the chance to make a memory. I have my own "to-do" list while I'm in Texas, and I'm quickly being able to cross some of them off!
As comfortable as I am becoming, I have a longing for home. I miss the comfort, the familiarity, the ability to know where everything is. I miss the people that I have always relied on for strength. But I am learning how to find the strength within myself, to put myself out there, and do it on my own. I've always been someone that has relied on someone else, and for the first time I'm learning to do it all on my own (even to get the flats fixed in Nowhere, Arkansas). I'm learning that I'm strong, and I can face the world no matter what it may give me. But I miss my friends, my family. And I have learned who are my true friends, and not just incidentals. I'm learning to take no friendship for granted, and cherish the ones you have. I'm learning that there is no distance between me and the ones I love.
Those are my ramblings for tonight...only a few more thoughts....
"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, only a few capture your heart...pursue those."
"God Bless TEXAS"
I love you all, and miss you even more! Always remember to keep your fork!!
I was driving through the country this evening and was able to gaze up at the beautiful Texas sky. Now, normally, I've seen this sky during the day (and most of it has been rainy). But this drive was different, I could see all the stars in the sky. It's hard to explain, but the Texas sky is different...t's bigger....it's beautiful.
As I drove into town, I saw my favorite landmark that lets me know I'm close to home, the Texas flag. Now, the Texas flag is flown high, big, and proud. Everytime I come over the hill and see this flag, it makes me smile. It reminds me how surreal these last few weeks have been. I sometimes can't grasp that I am living in Texas. Being born and raised, and basically living ,in the same place my whole life, I can't believe that I am so far away from comfort. The comfort that I long for every day. I miss my friends, my surroundings, my home. But I'm starting to feel ok here.
I have been very fortunate to meet some fabulous people (and fabulous is not a term I use lightly). I am slowly learning the ways of Texas, how people think, how life is done. I never realized that people can be so different in this country, but I was wrong.
I have been told by numerous people that once I get to Texas, I will never want to leave. I shrugged them off, thinking to myself, "I'm ready to see the world." But now I understand why they said that. I'm in love with Texas. I have never met more friendly people, who open their lives to you with no reserve. They go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I am so thankful I've met some friends that have taken me under their wing and made me feel at home.
I'm excited for every new adventure that has come my way. I don't want to miss out on a thing, and the chance to make a memory. I have my own "to-do" list while I'm in Texas, and I'm quickly being able to cross some of them off!
As comfortable as I am becoming, I have a longing for home. I miss the comfort, the familiarity, the ability to know where everything is. I miss the people that I have always relied on for strength. But I am learning how to find the strength within myself, to put myself out there, and do it on my own. I've always been someone that has relied on someone else, and for the first time I'm learning to do it all on my own (even to get the flats fixed in Nowhere, Arkansas). I'm learning that I'm strong, and I can face the world no matter what it may give me. But I miss my friends, my family. And I have learned who are my true friends, and not just incidentals. I'm learning to take no friendship for granted, and cherish the ones you have. I'm learning that there is no distance between me and the ones I love.
Those are my ramblings for tonight...only a few more thoughts....
"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, only a few capture your heart...pursue those."
"God Bless TEXAS"
I love you all, and miss you even more! Always remember to keep your fork!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Getting Motivated
So, I think I'm finally getting settled into Texas. The past week has had it's ups and downs, definitely adjusting to not knowing anyone! It has its times of being lonely, and even a few tears shed, but I'm starting to feel better. I have to realize there are going to be times when I get homesick, when I miss everything and everyone I know and love. I have to remember to focus on what an extraordinary adventure I have ahead of me! I get the most awesome opportunity to travel around the country and see what all this beautiful America has to offer! This is an excellent time for me to learn about myself, what drives me, what I'm looking for. For the first time, I have to do something completely on my own. That's a little terrifying, but I think it will only make me stronger!
I have so many things that I want to do while I'm here in Texas! I'm also looking forward to this alone time to work on things that I have let fall to the wayside!!
Hope all is well with everyone! Keep your forks!
I have so many things that I want to do while I'm here in Texas! I'm also looking forward to this alone time to work on things that I have let fall to the wayside!!
Hope all is well with everyone! Keep your forks!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Living in Texas
Well, I have officially lived in Texas for over a week. It's had its ups and downs, but overall I like it alot! My job is absolutely wonderful, totally dig the people I get to work with and my patients!
I'm digging my new apartment, and it's nice pool! I need to get as much pool time in as possible!
Texas is just beautiful. As I drive from home to work I see green rolling hills, and the awesome Texas sky!
Well, I've started this blog to keep everyone informed of my goings on while I'm here in Texas! I'm sure I'll have some great stories to share....already have a few!!
Love you all, keep your fork!
I'm digging my new apartment, and it's nice pool! I need to get as much pool time in as possible!
Texas is just beautiful. As I drive from home to work I see green rolling hills, and the awesome Texas sky!
Well, I've started this blog to keep everyone informed of my goings on while I'm here in Texas! I'm sure I'll have some great stories to share....already have a few!!
Love you all, keep your fork!
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